Emotions are a crazy thing

Emotions are a crazy thing.  The past week has been an emotional roller coaster.  All morning and afternoon Monday I was thinking about my time spent at the University of Kentucky.  So much of those two years I was depressed.  Clinically depressed.  Despite being on medication, I didn't want to get out of bed in the mornings, and the things I used to take interest in no longer gave me any joy.  It was quite honestly the darkest, lowest two years of my life.  However, thinking back, I don't recall any specific instances of wanting to end it; I just wanted to sleep all the time.  The people and things in my life that kept me from having any suicidal thoughts were the ones that I can't thank enough, even if they never know how much they kept me going.  The close friends I had at Kentucky kept me going from day-to-day from ice cream trips, watching tv shows together, and our coffee trips before Friday meetings.  Of course my family, especially my sweet nephew; I couldn't imagine not being in his life.  He and I have a special bond that I can't put into words - it's like the boy has part of my soul.  Dance was the other that kept me going, specifically UK Dance Ensemble; it gave me an outlet to express the thoughts that I couldn't even put into words when I tried.  Dance has been one of the most powerful tools in my life; something that has changed me for the better.  It's no surprise that I want to spend my life sharing this amazing art with anyone and everyone willing to learn.  It was during this time that I realized just how ignorant so many people are about mental illness.  I realize that it's far more common that people know, but the one's that haven't experienced it have no idea just how devastating it can be.
Anyways, Monday evening when I learned of Robin Williams' suicide, I was in shock.  Not only was it heartbreaking to lose someone that makes so many people laugh, and appeared to be so happy, but the way he left us was even more heartbreaking.  His death is a perfect example of how people can put up a smile while they're crying on the inside.  I'm hopeful that it will help the general public become a little more open-minded to the severity and frequency of mental illness.  Never judge a book by its cover.
I'm forever thankful for the people that helped me through my darkest of times, and the ones that continue to support me today.

Perspective...

Throughout the past year since moving to NYC I've had something on my mind that I could quite put into words - one of the biggest reasons I love it here so much.

So many times you hear the stereotype that New Yorkers are rude and selfish.  Many people may agree with that stereotype, however I've learned otherwise.  New Yorkers are some of the nicest people I've ever met.  Perhaps we share a common frustration of tourists, or share an immense passion for life, but there's something else.  Many people may say that New Yorkers are only out for themselves (the selfish aspect); perhaps, but it's about perspective.  I've discovered another perspective for that idea, one that has left me more confident, inspired, and energized than anywhere else I've ever lived.  

You see, here in NYC, these people's "selfishness" is not that at all.  We use all of our energy to better ourselves instead of bring others around us down.  In WV, it's more common to see people bring other people down to keep themselves on top, but that doesn't do anyone any good.  In NYC, using that energy to better themselves actually makes them better.  For the first time in my entire life, I'm not having to defend myself and I can focus on bettering myself.

This is one of the biggest aspects I'm dreading in moving back to WV.   I wish everyone had the opportunity to experience NYC through this lens, but oh well.  I'll do my best to promote this positive outlook when I return, and if it ever gets past my tolerance level, I'll take my talents to a place where they're appreciated - NYC.  This magical city will ALWAYS be my home.

Time Flies When You're Having Fun… Year 1 update

Time flies when you’re having fun.  It’s hard to believe the first year of this NYU Master’s program is already complete.  The year as a whole was quite a rollercoaster, with a few health issues and lots of stress along the way.  However, it was all worth it for the amount of knowledge I gained, the connections I’ve made, and the confidence I’ve developed.  I still pinch myself thinking I’m in a dream.  Well, it IS a dream, one I’ve worked my whole life to achieve. 

To summarize the year (since I slacked at keeping this updated):

Most of our classes are all very beneficial and practical to the real world.  In fact, a lot of assignments are ones that can be completed to use in the future.  Having the opportunity to complete these assignments for feedback will greatly help the future when they are implemented. 

NYU/ABT Cohort 13 with our Pre-Primary to Level 3 certificates

Another point of excitement – we are all ABT certified to teach levels Pre-Primary through Level 5.  We take our exam for Levels 6-7 and Partnering this coming fall.  One of the amazing things about taking class at ABT Studios is occasionally passing some of the company members in the hallways.   Walking by Misty Copeland, or catching a glimpse of Gillian Murphy taking class are all moments that I realize just how lucky I am to have this opportunity.  The other fabulous opportunity from being part of the program was the chance to assist with the Primary level classes at the JKO School at ABT.  I was able to see the curriculum in action, as well as work alongside several of the teachers (whom were both fabulous).  I also had the opportunity to perform in the NYU Distinguished Faculty Concert this spring semester.  I was in a fun ballet piece with some of my classmates choreographed by the awesome Carla Flores.  Sharing the stage with such wonderful, talented dancers was such a treat, and I can say that I've performed in NYC :)

Spring 2014 NYU Distinguished Faculty Concert
Unmeasured Preludes, choreographed by Carla Flores

Paul Taylor Dance Company at Lincoln Center

Over the course of the year I was also able to take advantage of NYC living and see a few ballets.  In the fall I received comp tickets to ABT’s fall season, as well as to their version of the Nutcracker (which was one of the most unique, fun productions I’ve ever seen).  I also had the opportunity to see the Paul Taylor Dance Company as well.  It’s magical seeing these performances live.  (Side note: I also found out that husband one of my professors is originally from Wheeling!  Small world.)

Another fun aspect of NYC living is all of the amazing bakeries and restaurants.  Since transitioning to become gluten-free, I’ve luckily found several gluten-free bakeries within walking distance.  This is spoiling me as there are essentially no options for my healthy lifestyle upon moving back to WV (unless I drive to Pittsburgh)

Treat from Crumbs Gluten-Free Bakery

Georgetown Cupcake Gluten-free treat

This entire experience has been one that I will never forget and will always be thankful for.  The people I’ve met, the knowledge I’ve gained, and the confidence I’ve built has shaped me into (hopefully) a better teacher and person.  I can’t wait to share everything I’ve learned, and inspire other dancers to always work hard, chase their dreams, and never give up.

Until next time...

Enjoy Being... (a dreamer)

2 months in NYC

It’s hard to believe it’s already been two months since I moved to Manhattan – I still feel like I’m living a dream.  It still hasn’t quite set in.  For as long as I can remember I’ve always wanted to live here, even if just for a little while, for the experience of it.  Growing up as a shy girl in a not-on-the-maps town in southern West Virginia, I was always doubted as ever being successful, much less moving to somewhere like NYC alone.  But here I am.  It’s been all of the doubt that’s gotten me here.  Well, that plus a lifetime of hard work and never giving up.  There have been times throughout life that have been so challenging I just wanted to give up on everything, but instead I chose to push through those.  All of those things have made me so much stronger and independent.   I was always reminded that I didn’t have the body to be a dancer, and it’d be hard to make a living in the dance world, but I’m on my way to becoming a dance teacher.  For those that doubted, here I am, I’m LIVING MY DREAMS!  I’ve always been told I was too shy to move away from home, yet I did at 18 and haven’t looked back. 

Along the way I’ve met some of the most amazing people that have supported me and my dreams, no matter how crazy.  I’ve been blessed with the most  amazing dance teachers since the very beginning, 23 years ago, that have taught me so much and guided me along the way, always feeding my dreams and reminding me that I can do anything I set my mind to.  Mr. Lamb, LeAnn, Lindsey, Lisa, Meredith, Gretchen, Donald, and all of the choreographers and fellow dancers I’ve worked with, I can’t thank you enough.  I’ve developed an amazing support system of friends that have given me the confidence and support when the rest of the world seems to doubt me the most – there’s so many to name, I’ll be sure to let you know.  And of course my family - I couldn't do any of this without them.  From the dance lessons, dance shoes, dance costumes, dance competitions, to the support through two higher education degrees, and the moving that has come with each one, I couldn't have done this without them.

Life has also thrown me curve balls that have given me no choice but to be strong.  From losing a close friend in a car accident at age 12, and several family members tragically in the short years following, to being the survivor of sexual assault, I’ve learned to push forward and find the positives out of bad situations.  While some events have taken longer to overcome than others, they have shaped who I am today, and in a way I’m grateful for that. 

Even with school keeping me incredibly busy with the homework, classes, and rehearsal, I love every bit of it!  So from now on, I’m living this dream for ME, and not to prove people wrong.  It’s time to start truly living IN this dream of living in NYC, studying at NYU and ABT, and beginning a career as a dance educator.    It’s time for me to Enjoy Being… (a dance educator).

Until next time…

Enjoy Being…

NYU - the first 2 weeks

The first two weeks of classes at NYU have come and gone, and we wasted no time getting into the material.  All of the classes are great and have already provided so much valuable information, and have shown great promise for being very beneficial.  One class I started the semester almost dreading has quickly become one of my favorite classes – Environment of Arts Administration.  And obviously I love my ballet class.  It’s very exciting and such an honor to take class from some of these people – Franco de Vita and Raymond Lukens to start with.  The ABT classes will result in a certification of the ABT National Training Curriculum – a great tool for my resume, especially since I want to focus my career on ballet.  After all, that is such a foundation for all other dance techniques. 

I absolutely love my classmates – they are all so talented and smart and it is great to get to learn from them and with them.  Hearing everyone’s stories is really interesting, too.  The professional connections we are already making with one another will be such a benefit in the future. 

This weekend I started another new adventure – assisting with classes in the children’s division at the JKO School at ABT.  We are assisting in classes where the curriculum that we are being trained to teach is being taught – seeing it in action will be so valuable.  It is neat that some of the other teachers are graduates or second-year students in the NYU/ABT program.   It has been interesting to see the difference in the students here versus students I’ve taught in the past.  I could list so many differences but I’m not going to for fear of anyone being offended or feelings being hurt.  I could work at someplace like ABT/JKO forever – it is a dream for everything I’d ever want in a school. 

Washington Square Park

Outside of school, I took a few hours to wander around the city some more.  The adventure was sparked by the need for another leotard and a few ballet skirts, so I headed to the Capezio flagship store.  From there I wandered around Rockefeller Plaza, up and down 5^th Ave. a little bit, and ended up walking through Times Square and back home.  From Rockefeller it is about a 30 block walk – not too bad.  One thing spoiling me big time about the city is the closeness of everything.  Within a 10 minute time frame I can go to the bank and get Starbucks and be back home to switch laundry.  If I need a few groceries, it’s a round trip time of about 20-30 minutes, half of which is typically spent in the checkout line.  At West Liberty, it took that just to get to a store, much less make purchases and drive back.  

Anyway – the other neat thing I had the opportunity to see was the Memorial Lights for the World Trade Center on September 11.  The atmosphere around the entire city seemed different that day.  That night I spent a few minutes on my roof reflecting as I took in the lights of the World Trade Center as well as the patriotic red, white, and blue lights of the Empire State Building.

Empire State Building on 9/11/13

WTC memorial lights on 9/11/13

Well, enough for now as homework is calling my name.  Thanks again for everyone who actually reads this – your support means the world to me!  I love and miss everyone so much!

Until next time…

Enjoy Being…

The First Month

My new home

The first month of life as an NYC resident is coming to a close.  It has been quite an adjustment getting used to the hustle and bustle of the city.  There’s always so much going on – car horns, sirens, people, lights, and pretty much anything else that will cause one to be over stimulated.  In all, the first month has been great.  I’ve gotten settled into my new dorm-sized apartment, figured out where the nearest stores are, and settled into a routine.  I’ve taken advantage of the peace and quiet of the park to get some reading done for school, and just enjoy the semi-quietness. 

Since the last post, several fun things have happened.  I met up with a very dear childhood friend (friends since preschool) for dinner and we chatted about city life and anything else Bluefield related. It’s nice to have someone I’ve known for so long in the city and just a 15-minute walk away.   I also went back home to Wheeling for a week to visit some of my favorite people.  It was a very much-needed trip to help my transition to city life.  After losing the last week being in Wheeling due to doctors appointments and surgery, I was thankful to have the week to catch up with friends and visit some of the awesome RAs at West Liberty, as well as my former boss and co-workers, who will always hold a special place in my heart.  I rode MegaBus into Pittsburgh then had a rental car for my time in WV.  The first night I was in town, a friend introduced me to the restaurant Later Alligator.  How in the world had I never been there before?!  It is by far my new favorite restaurant in Wheeling.  I mean come on, crepes for meal AND dessert?  No argument here!  When I went to West Liberty to visit my housing buddies, it was very strange not having to answer the phone and deal with the kids coming in with complaints and issues.  What a relief that was!  The end of the trip was a follow up doctor appointment – got the a-ok on everything and was cleared to dance again.  When a dancer is told not to dance for an extended amount of time, it’s like telling someone they can’t breathe for a month.

The following day upon returning to Manhattan, I had orientation for school.  It was wonderful to meet my cohort of classmates before classes start, and to get a better idea of what we were in for.  We got more insight into the program, got to speak with second-year students in the program, as well as got a quick tour of the building our classes will be in and some important points on campus.  For those of us in the American Ballet Theatre track, we finished our tour at ABT Studios, where we met with some administrative folks and got a tour of the studios.  Since the company was on break, we got to see their lounge, studios, and pass by their locker rooms.  Pretty neat to be in the space where people like Gillian Murphy, Julie Kent, and Misty Copeland spend their time between rehearsals.  We ended the tour in the studio where our classes will take place, met with one of our professors, and got our ABT Training Curriculum binders.  Oh, and our lockers.  We have our own lockers at ABT studios!  It’s pretty surreal to think about. 

Our seats in Grandstand

Leaving the BJK National Tennis Center

This past weekend I got a phone call from my dad’s best friend, my tennis coach, saying they were coming to town for the US Open!  I met up with them Saturday morning and spent the day with them at the Open watching some pretty awesome tennis.  It was very nice to see some familiar faces and get to be a “tourist” for a day.

So as I head into my 5^th week as a New Yorker, I begin classes at NYU tomorrow.  I’m very excited for this journey to finally begin – one I’ve been dreaming of and working hard to achieve since childhood.  It’s the next chapter in this book called life, and I’m ready to tackle it with full force. 

My advice to anyone that has made it this far in the post – don’t ever give up on your dreams.  If you’re willing to work hard, take risks, and be patient, those dreams will be within your reach.  Don’t let anyone ever tell you otherwise. 

Until next time…

Enjoy Being…

Empire State Building from Hudson River Park

NYC sunset over the Hudson

Week 2, NYC style

Well, another week as come to a close in my new life in NYC.  This week was filled with lots of time at the park, and lots of time running errands.  I finally got everything unpacked and am all settled into my first NYC apartment.  I'll be sure to include pictures in my next post - have a few more things that need to find their place.

Statue of Liberty in the middle - a bit small, but it's there.

I've really taken to the Chelsea Riverside Park by Chelsea Piers.  There's a nice grass area where I love to sit out and take in the sun.  It's quiet and relaxing there, which provides a great place to get some reading done for my summer assignment.  One day I decided to take a walk around the park a little bit more and discovered that if I walk to the end of one area of the piers, I can see the Statue of Liberty.  Pretty neat.  The weather has given me the chance to get some sun, too!  We all know how much an office job prevents that - I have been enjoying having all this time to enjoy being outside.

I've just finished booking my first trip back home to Wheeling!  I'm so excited to visit everyone and get to see some people I didn't get to see before I left.  Having surgery 2 days before moving left me unable to say bye to a ton of people.  I've recently realized that I consider Wheeling home more than I do where my parents live.  However, I've spent 7 of the last 9 years in Wheeling - that's where I have friends and a life.  I'm so excited to get back there to visit, and hope to find a great job in the area upon graduating from NYU.  I want to show the area how awesome ballet is - how much fun it is to learn and how it sets the foundation for other styles of dance.

One thing about moving to NYC that I didn't really expect is knowing people that are already here.  It is also comforting to see a few familiar faces in such a busy city.  I'm excited to hang out with one of my closest friends since preschool next week - should be a fun time reminiscing our childhood memories of watching Little Rascals, jumping on the trampoline, and playing tennis together.
NYC has been everything I've hoped for and more so far, and it feels like home already.  I just miss the familiar faces of friends and family - so anyone that visits NYC, please call me so we can meet up!  I hope you're enjoying this ride with me, and I'll do my best to keep this updated regularly throughout the journey!

Until next time...

Enjoy Being...