Emotions are a crazy thing

Emotions are a crazy thing.  The past week has been an emotional roller coaster.  All morning and afternoon Monday I was thinking about my time spent at the University of Kentucky.  So much of those two years I was depressed.  Clinically depressed.  Despite being on medication, I didn't want to get out of bed in the mornings, and the things I used to take interest in no longer gave me any joy.  It was quite honestly the darkest, lowest two years of my life.  However, thinking back, I don't recall any specific instances of wanting to end it; I just wanted to sleep all the time.  The people and things in my life that kept me from having any suicidal thoughts were the ones that I can't thank enough, even if they never know how much they kept me going.  The close friends I had at Kentucky kept me going from day-to-day from ice cream trips, watching tv shows together, and our coffee trips before Friday meetings.  Of course my family, especially my sweet nephew; I couldn't imagine not being in his life.  He and I have a special bond that I can't put into words - it's like the boy has part of my soul.  Dance was the other that kept me going, specifically UK Dance Ensemble; it gave me an outlet to express the thoughts that I couldn't even put into words when I tried.  Dance has been one of the most powerful tools in my life; something that has changed me for the better.  It's no surprise that I want to spend my life sharing this amazing art with anyone and everyone willing to learn.  It was during this time that I realized just how ignorant so many people are about mental illness.  I realize that it's far more common that people know, but the one's that haven't experienced it have no idea just how devastating it can be.
Anyways, Monday evening when I learned of Robin Williams' suicide, I was in shock.  Not only was it heartbreaking to lose someone that makes so many people laugh, and appeared to be so happy, but the way he left us was even more heartbreaking.  His death is a perfect example of how people can put up a smile while they're crying on the inside.  I'm hopeful that it will help the general public become a little more open-minded to the severity and frequency of mental illness.  Never judge a book by its cover.
I'm forever thankful for the people that helped me through my darkest of times, and the ones that continue to support me today.

Perspective...

Throughout the past year since moving to NYC I've had something on my mind that I could quite put into words - one of the biggest reasons I love it here so much.

So many times you hear the stereotype that New Yorkers are rude and selfish.  Many people may agree with that stereotype, however I've learned otherwise.  New Yorkers are some of the nicest people I've ever met.  Perhaps we share a common frustration of tourists, or share an immense passion for life, but there's something else.  Many people may say that New Yorkers are only out for themselves (the selfish aspect); perhaps, but it's about perspective.  I've discovered another perspective for that idea, one that has left me more confident, inspired, and energized than anywhere else I've ever lived.  

You see, here in NYC, these people's "selfishness" is not that at all.  We use all of our energy to better ourselves instead of bring others around us down.  In WV, it's more common to see people bring other people down to keep themselves on top, but that doesn't do anyone any good.  In NYC, using that energy to better themselves actually makes them better.  For the first time in my entire life, I'm not having to defend myself and I can focus on bettering myself.

This is one of the biggest aspects I'm dreading in moving back to WV.   I wish everyone had the opportunity to experience NYC through this lens, but oh well.  I'll do my best to promote this positive outlook when I return, and if it ever gets past my tolerance level, I'll take my talents to a place where they're appreciated - NYC.  This magical city will ALWAYS be my home.

Time Flies When You're Having Fun… Year 1 update

Time flies when you’re having fun.  It’s hard to believe the first year of this NYU Master’s program is already complete.  The year as a whole was quite a rollercoaster, with a few health issues and lots of stress along the way.  However, it was all worth it for the amount of knowledge I gained, the connections I’ve made, and the confidence I’ve developed.  I still pinch myself thinking I’m in a dream.  Well, it IS a dream, one I’ve worked my whole life to achieve. 

To summarize the year (since I slacked at keeping this updated):

Most of our classes are all very beneficial and practical to the real world.  In fact, a lot of assignments are ones that can be completed to use in the future.  Having the opportunity to complete these assignments for feedback will greatly help the future when they are implemented. 

NYU/ABT Cohort 13 with our Pre-Primary to Level 3 certificates

Another point of excitement – we are all ABT certified to teach levels Pre-Primary through Level 5.  We take our exam for Levels 6-7 and Partnering this coming fall.  One of the amazing things about taking class at ABT Studios is occasionally passing some of the company members in the hallways.   Walking by Misty Copeland, or catching a glimpse of Gillian Murphy taking class are all moments that I realize just how lucky I am to have this opportunity.  The other fabulous opportunity from being part of the program was the chance to assist with the Primary level classes at the JKO School at ABT.  I was able to see the curriculum in action, as well as work alongside several of the teachers (whom were both fabulous).  I also had the opportunity to perform in the NYU Distinguished Faculty Concert this spring semester.  I was in a fun ballet piece with some of my classmates choreographed by the awesome Carla Flores.  Sharing the stage with such wonderful, talented dancers was such a treat, and I can say that I've performed in NYC :)

Spring 2014 NYU Distinguished Faculty Concert
Unmeasured Preludes, choreographed by Carla Flores

Paul Taylor Dance Company at Lincoln Center

Over the course of the year I was also able to take advantage of NYC living and see a few ballets.  In the fall I received comp tickets to ABT’s fall season, as well as to their version of the Nutcracker (which was one of the most unique, fun productions I’ve ever seen).  I also had the opportunity to see the Paul Taylor Dance Company as well.  It’s magical seeing these performances live.  (Side note: I also found out that husband one of my professors is originally from Wheeling!  Small world.)

Another fun aspect of NYC living is all of the amazing bakeries and restaurants.  Since transitioning to become gluten-free, I’ve luckily found several gluten-free bakeries within walking distance.  This is spoiling me as there are essentially no options for my healthy lifestyle upon moving back to WV (unless I drive to Pittsburgh)

Treat from Crumbs Gluten-Free Bakery

Georgetown Cupcake Gluten-free treat

This entire experience has been one that I will never forget and will always be thankful for.  The people I’ve met, the knowledge I’ve gained, and the confidence I’ve built has shaped me into (hopefully) a better teacher and person.  I can’t wait to share everything I’ve learned, and inspire other dancers to always work hard, chase their dreams, and never give up.

Until next time...

Enjoy Being... (a dreamer)